College Essay.. Please Read And Give Tips.?
this is a rough draft . i changed my name so yeah
My name is Kelly kid. I am not your average student. While working hard for my grades, I have two jobs, and my only free time is spent taking a CNA course at night. My life would be on a completely different path without the guidance from my dad. He really has inspired me to do everything I have done in my life. I wouldn’t be who I am today without him. The majority of students going to college write about their parents, but my story is different. My dad died of a massive heart attack when I was in fourth grade. Following his ways of life, I learned to help people, travel the world, and keep playing music. I have lived by these three rules, and so far its working for me.
I don’t really remember too many things about him. His name was Randy and everyone loved him. He always told me that a simple smile can turn someone’s day around. Watching him smile was contagious; it always brought out the best in people. Now, I smile a little too much, I laugh a little too hard, and I play around a little more than I should. It makes people happy and hopefully they will pass the joy to others. In life, I want to be a nurse. Maybe someday I will save a man’s life and his family won’t have to go through everything my family has.
November 4, 2001 was the day my dad died. It is also the day I inherited his guitar. There I was, a tiny ten year old girl with a huge acoustic. That guitar will never go un-played. I can’t even tell you how many songs my sister and I have written for him. Music brings people together. I will never forget that. All of my brothers come home and listen to us play. This is also how I learned to study. Eventually I started playing piano because my mom wouldn’t let me make too much noise at night.
My dad also inspires me to travel. Sean, my oldest brother, was going into the navy. We decided to go on a cruise together to Canada. Mom said it would be the last vacation with the whole family. Little did she know that it would be the last one with my dad. Everyone was so happy all together. Our problems seemed to fade away. I remember my dad giving me a piggy back ride throughout the streets. He was singing a song in French. Realizing how much languages fascinated me, I started learning Spanish. I want to travel the world, help different kinds of people, learn different languages, and study different cultures. I just wish my dad could be there with me.
Every big decision I have made in my life was inspired by my dad. I miss him. Someday I hope to be remembered as greatly as he is today. I will help people, I will travel the world. And I will keep playing my music.
that is such a sad story it almost made me cry I thought it was a very touching story and colleges like hearing a little bit about you in your essays as well I’m actually exactly like you I want to be a nurse too but my little sister with down syndrome inspired me I hope you get in I loved your essay I just have one tip I would suggest putting something more in there on your leadership skills good luck